


Seasons of Love, Seasons of Farewell

by AzuraNaga



Category: Day6 (Band), Park Jaehyung - Fandom, Young K - Fandom
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M, mild swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-09-29 08:29:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17200082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzuraNaga/pseuds/AzuraNaga
Summary: Jae meets Skylar one autumn. He's interested in her, but she was going to teach him a bit about what love can be.(Story is written in different POVs of the main characters)





	1. Jae- The Beginning of Our Story

**Author's Note:**

> AU where Jae is continuing his studies in music to be a successful musician in Milan, Italy.  
> Forgive me for any grammar mistakes.
> 
> Song inspiration:  
> L-O-V-E by Nat King Cole

The first time I met her was in autumn, when the leaves turned brown against a warm orange landscape. The weather was reasonably chilly, just the type of cold that sends mild shivers down your neck with a promise of the beginning of winter.

I stood in the streets with a red scarf round my neck, a guitar in the crook of my arms as I strummed out a sappy love song in the heart of Milan. Pedestrians stopped and threw coins into the prim little top hat I’d laid on the pavement, and some even clapped along to the rhythm of the song. It was the song by Nat King Cole, L-O-V-E. It was the first song off my head, and I thought, why not? So, as the sun went down over the hills in a distance, I sang for the people of Milan. They were truly enjoying the song, and a little girl even danced in front of the crowd. I was halfway through the song when I caught her gaze: intense, if not a little droopy; half-lidded eyes, glazed over by liquor and memories. She held a bottle of beer in one hand, cheeks pink against the cold. She was Asian as well, but her features were exotic, with the addition of a sun-tanned skin. She stood at the inner edge of the crowd, body stiff and motionless as she continued staring.

I made my way towards her, still singing that song. A few whoops came from the crowd as it was as if I was serenading her. Maybe I was, but at that time, the only thing that went through my head were the song lyrics.

“V- is very, very, extraordinary; E- is even more than anyone that you adore and-”

“Love,” she opened her mouth and sang out the word softly. I fumbled for the chords, but I was too shaken, drawn in now by her quivering note. Without the music, everything had fallen silent. She wasn’t deterred; her eyes were steady on mine as she continued. “-is all that I can give, to you; Love, is more than just a game for two.” Her rendition was different: gone was the jazz and the swing of the original version, now replaced by a soft, sweet and slow pace, which somehow sounded sad. The fingers of her other hand found my face as I just stood there, shell-shocked. A small smile cracked upon her lips as she continued in a dream-like state.

“Two, in love can make it; Take my heart, and please don't break it; Love, was made for me and you.” The last line was impossibly soft, barely a whisper. Her cold fingers warmed against my cheek, and I was aware that my mouth was slightly open. I felt like I could look into her soul at that moment and found something broken inside, but the applause of the crowd broke that trance and I pulled away from her touch, smiling and bowing awkwardly to everyone present.

People started moving away, and so did she. Before I could second guess myself, I caught her by the wrist. She stumbled back, making it evident that she wasn’t sober. She swiveled back to me with a grin, the previous broken-hearted state replaced by an incoherently happy one. I was about to say something when she promptly dropped her bottle of beer, cupped my face with both her hands and planted a kiss on my forehead, tip-toeing to do the deed to reach my height even though she was considerably tall herself. Then, she pointed and looked down at my shoes, and I bowed my head following her gaze, and that was when she flicked my nose upwards, giggling. I was slightly amused by then, and she leaned closer to my face and wagged her forefinger slowly, as a warning not to mess with her.

“Skylar!” Another girl shouted nearby and ran up to us. She was wearing a hijab and had the richness of the Arabic features carved on her face. She pried Skylar’s hands away from me and Skylar put her weight against her friend. The newcomer shot me an apologetic look while trying to keep her friend’s fingers away from her face. “I’m sorry, she had too much to drink just now. Are you okay? She didn’t do anything weird or harmful, did she?” She rambled. I took a second look at Skylar, now snuggling close to her friend, eyes closed and emitting a contented feeling.

“My pride was hurt. She fooled me with her finger.” I replied, not even knowing what I just said. Her friend blinked at me and slowly nodded. “Uh, yeah, she does that sometimes when she’s drunk. Sorry ‘bout that. Well, we better get going. Bye.” She hoisted Skylar away, grunting and cursing as she did as they stumbled away down the street. Skylar threw her hands up into the air and let out a laugh that cut through the compound, loud and clear.

 _She is a special one, that girl._ I thought to myself. I tug at my scarf, feeling a tad bit warm all of a sudden. “Skylar,” I whispered, having a taste of her name on my tongue. The feel of her touches on my face from her fingers and lips lingered a long time after our fateful encounter, in the autumn of 2017.


	2. Jae- A Second Meeting as Strangers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're still not officially into the main story yet, so it may seem a bit slow, but bear with me! I'll try to keep the pace fast enough so it won't be too draggy.

I woke up the next morning with a slight headache and a ringing in my ears. Last night I had been up trying to finish a project of composing a new song, working on the lyrics and the chords. Inspiration had not knocked on my door for days, but I thought after that bizarre meeting with Skylar, I might have something in my mind to help me break through this writer’s block. No such luck.

I laid in bed with my arm slung over my eyes, in no hurry to start the day. It was a Sunday, which meant no classes, no extra-curricular activities, just a day that belonged to me and my own personal plans. I contemplated my choices: to head down to the nearest coffee shop with my guitar and my laptop, or to spend my day playing Fortnite, or to call up one of my friends for a movie.

“Screw this. I’m getting this song done by today.” The deadline was supposed to be on Tuesday, but I liked having a gap of at least one day to make any changes before finalizing my work. It was a pain to even get out of bed as the sheets were too comfy and I spent 20 minutes looking through my phone for new messages or emails.

After washing up, I put on the warmest jacket I owned as the weather report stated that it would be one of the coldest days in autumn. I headed outside with both my guitar in hand and laptop in my bag, appreciating the scenery on the way to Lorenzo’s Caffe, which was a 10 minute walk away from my apartment.

“Autumn leaves falling off the tree

 Would you leave, if you still love me”

Krnnggg! The bell at the door rang as I pushed opened and went in. The barista behind the counter smiled at me warmly. Kailey? Kaila? “Buongiorno, Kaley.” I greeted her after taking a peep at her name tag. “Un espresso, per favore.”

After paying for the cup of coffee, I retired to a corner of the shop and continued on my project. It wasn’t easy trying to piece the lyrics with the melody, and I had to scrap some parts away as it just didn’t sound right.

“If the coldness of the weather doesn’t get to me

 Your indifference would surely bring me to my knees”

I still couldn’t decide which sounded better: major or minor? I tapped my finger on the guitar, and that was when I caught a glimpse of Skylar, walking down the street right outside Lorenzo’s. She held a stack of papers in her arms, paintbrushes sticking out of various places on her body: her pockets, behind her ear, even one in her mouth. Her long black hair was pulled into a high ponytail, and a pair of round-rimmed glasses perched on her nose, quite similar to mine. She was dressed in clothes that had seen paint, colourful and messy.

Skylar welcomed herself into Lorenzo’s, and I found myself sitting straighter in my seat. She plopped her things down on a nearby table and heaved a sigh. Kaley took her order and they made small talk about the weather (“Il mio naso è congelato!”). I watched her from my place, trying to compare the drunk girl from last evening to this bright and cheerful lady. She laughed, teeth flashing and mouth opened wide.

“Honey with a smile like yours, how am I going to forget

 Take out the light, but when I close my eyes, all I see is that”

Skylar shifted all her belongings onto another table right across from me, sipping happily on her coffee. Her paintbrushes made swirling motions in the air as she tilted her head this way and that. For the next hour, she drew and painted, and I watched her when I took breaks from my project.

After completing my song in what I thought was rather excellent, the sun had begun to set over the horizon. The cafe was bustling with people, but I could still see her drawing furiously. Her table had become very messy with pieces of paper everywhere, and she was on her third cup of coffee. Strands of hair came undone from her ponytail, and her glasses slid down lower on her nose.

As if she felt someone staring, she looked up and we locked eyes for a moment before I broke away, lifting my unfinished espresso to my lips in an attempt to act nonchalant. When I looked back, she was already halfway out the door. Something urged me to go after her, but for some reason, I stayed seated, watching her go. She paid no attention to anyone, and I don’t even think she remembered me as the busker from last evening.

That night, she entered my dreams. Skylar; a girl of sunshine and laughter, running through the green meadows of spring. Skylar; a girl of drizzles and cloudy days, with her eyes withdrawn and cold.

When I woke up the next day at 5:38 am, my hands found my guitar and my writing utensils, and I made the extra changes to my song. I did not know it then, but she became the inspiration I needed.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	3. Jae- ...Confession...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This hasn't been edited yet. Sorry for any mistakes. Enjoy :)

“It’s excellent work, Jae. This song… It has the right amount of feeling in it, and the music is on point with the theme. Good job. I see that you’ve managed to outdo yourself again, even on your theory.” Mr Joffrey commented, face beaming with pride. I smiled at him. “Thank you, sir. I’m able to do it because of you and… certain inspirations. I’ll try my best again next time.”

“I don’t doubt your music talent, Jae. I do hope that you’ll be able to achieve your dreams soon. You’re going to graduate soon; are you going to go to South Korea to become a musician?”

“Yeah. I’m aiming for this entertainment agency, but they have very high standards and expectations of their trainees. And as you know, I don’t dance much. Let’s just say that dancing isn’t my __forte__.” We both laughed at this, no doubt remembering my failure at pulling off a cool break dance during the year-end party last year. For the next few months, no one would let me forget about it.

“I wish you all the best in your final examination and also in your future ventures.” Mr Joffrey said, and I shook his hand. “Thank you sir.”

Right after exiting his office, my phone rang and I grinned at the caller ID. “Yo, what’s good, man? You here already?” I picked up the call and made my way back to the apartment. The voice on the other end replied in an annoyed voice. “Where the hell is your place? I’ve been looking for ages.”

“It’s right behind that yellow building. Please tell me you found the correct yellow building.” I hurried now, hefting my bag as I weaved through the thickening crowds of the university. Park Sungjin is a guy who doesn’t like to be kept waiting, and he cannot tolerate tardiness, not even from his best friend.

“Bloody hell, there’s only one yellow building here in a 400 meter radius. But which side of it is its ‘behind’? You know what, get your ass here and take me. I’m in front of… Lorenzo’s Cafe.” The phone went silent after that.

Sungjin had graduated about a month ago, and I had promised to take him around Europe before my graduation, so here he was, but he wasn’t good with directions, and he didn’t understand Italian. Despite being yelled at, I couldn’t help but smile to myself. It had been a long time since we’ve met, and I couldn’t wait to show him the beauty of Milan.

10 minutes later and I was in front of Lorenzo’s Cafe, just as Skylar appeared. My heart skipped a beat on its own as she brushed past me, a cup of coffee in hand, hauling just as many things as she usually had in her arms. It occurred to me some time ago that the idea of using bags just didn’t seem appealing to her. Though I knew I had been staring, she maintained a poker face and did not even make eye contact, as if my existence was nothing to her- just a simple passerby, when in fact, I have sat right across from her in the same spot, in the same coffee shop for almost every other day.

“Jae!” Sungjin’s voice reminded me of my aim in coming to the cafe, and he was equally excited to see me. We did a reunion hug and started exchanging stories right away as we walked back to my apartment.

“-and then this lady looked at me like I was some alien.” Sungjin recounted his experience in finding his way to this area in Milan, making me laugh harder than ever before. We had simple dinner which was Chinese food and were just resting on the couch, catching up with each other’s lives. “What about you? How’s your music coming?” Sungjin asked, and a face popped up in my mind instantly: black hair, big brown eyes, round-rimmed glasses, tanned skin, tall and skinny, face and clothes smeared with paint. I fiddled with the strands of strings on the cushion in my arms, saying “It’s all good. Mr Joffrey approved of my latest project with nothing but praises…”

Sungjin caught the cliffhanger of my sentence. “But…?” He prodded, inching closer to me. I breathed a sigh through my nose. “I… haven’t been focusing much on producing music these days.”

“But why not?”

I kept quiet for a while, contemplating what I should tell Sungjin. But he was my best friend, a person I have shared countless secrets with, and he knows me well enough to not let this go if he wasn’t convinced with my answer. “There is this girl.”

Sungjin pulled out his “Oooh”, eyes sparkling with renewed interest. “So you’re in love now eh, Jae?”

“No,” I said quickly, heat began crawling up my neck. “She’s a stranger. I don’t even know her. But she played a big role in helping me finish my project. I took her as an inspiration.” I paused, not knowing what else to say, but Sungjin made the “go on” gesture with his hands. So I continued.

“From what I know, her name is Skylar. We actually met a few weeks ago on the streets when I was busking. She was drunk at that time, so I don’t think she recognizes me. We’ve crossed paths several times after that, and she never seems to remember me. I think…” I paused again, trying to conjure up my memory. “I think we have met even before that, in Lorenzo’s Cafe.” I remembered now, my first time entering Lorenzo’s. It was during my first month here as a student in Milan, and I was a newbie who did not understand Italian well. Heck, I’ve only picked the language up 3 months before departing for Italy. That morning, I had been craving for some coffee, but as I stood in line at the counter, my mind went blank trying to read the menu board.

 _ _Welp, there goes my coffee__ , I thought to myself, but at that moment the Asian girl in front of me made her order in perfect Italian. I was shocked at first that I did not even realized that a fellow Asian was right in front of me, and also impressed at her fluency. She had the same black hair, but it was falling freely in layers behind her back. She was quite tall as well, coming up to my nose; a feat that many girls can’t achieve with my 1.82 meters in height. I ordered the same thing as her just to save myself from the embarrassment of not knowing how to order coffee in Italian.

I closed my eyes and I could see her clearly again. Even a few times after that, we may have been in the coffee shop at the same time, but by then, I paid no attention to her. She was just another random stranger who enjoyed Lorenzo’s coffee as much as I do.

“Hey!” Sungjin snapped his fingers under my nose, waking me up abruptly. “What happened next? What is she like?”

“Well, I see her now and then at Lorenzo’s. I think she’s an artist. She paints a lot. She’s Asian as well, but I don’t think she’s Korean. Chinese, maybe? I don’t know.” I babbled, my thoughts kept straying back to her. Sungjin had a smug smile on his face that was giving me the creeps and I swatted his arm. “Stop that.”

“I think… You’ve developed an interest in Skylar, don’t you?” He prodded. I shook my head. “Nah, it’s just because I found her-” Interesting. “…Yes, okay, I _ _have__  an interest in her. But not __that__  kind of interest you’re thinking about. Just… mildly curious about her. There’s this special way she carries herself like she doesn’t care about the world-” By this point Sungjin’s smug smile has grown wider and I wiped it off by throwing the cushion in his face. “Alright, alright, that’s enough of it.”

“Have you talked to her yet? Asked for her phone number?”

“No. Why should I? I mean,” I scratched the back of my head absentmindedly, “It’s not like I’m trying to hit on her or something.”

“And that, my friend, is why you’re still single.” Sungjin said empathetically. “Okay, that’s it, you’re sleeping on the floor tonight.” I said firmly, which led to Sungjin’s protest about how unfair it was since he was my guest.

Truth to be told, I had considered it numerous times before. Of going up to her, striking up a conversation about art or something general (like the weather), asking for her phone number. But whenever I see her, something holds me back, telling me that it’s a bad idea of carrying out any action. I had come to terms that Skylar is a girl worthy of appraising from far; get too close and you’ll never know what may happen.

Or maybe I was just a coward, shying away from the prospects of making friends with Skylar, which totally made no sense since I was good at socializing with people of different backgrounds, even females. Long after Sungjin’s soft snores echoed in my bedroom, his words came back to me. “ _ _You’ve developed an interest in Skylar, don’t you?__ ”

Yes. Yes I have. And I wasn’t even sure what type of interest it was anymore, since she was no more than a stranger who enjoyed Lorenzo’s coffee as much as I do.


	4. Skylar- I Guess I'm Fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the first chapter in Skylar's POV!

There was a guy who had always watched me.

It hadn’t been a long time, though: I think it started a month ago. He was tall, lanky, nerdy, always sitting a distance across from me in Lorenzo’s every time I was there. I tried my best to ignore him, but damn, that guy was persistent as hell. He never fails to be there every other afternoon, so much so that I would sometimes take away my cappuccino instead of sitting in the cafe just to escape his darting gaze in the beginning.

Don’t get me wrong, I had no ill thoughts against him, but it was just the way he would watch me when he thought I didn’t know: searching each movement I make, and sometimes he would just scribble and scribble away on his pad. There was something intense in his concentration, bowed over his guitar, long fingers strumming the lovely strings that send wave after wave of beautiful music in all directions. It was those sounds that made me decide to spend my time in the cafe after a while, and he was a sight to behold, as well.

I started drawing portraits of him.

I figured that it wasn’t that bad, being observed by him like I was some art sculpture (which would be more frequent when he was working on something that looked suspiciously like song-writing), and he never seemed to cross my boundary of coming over or following me home. I secretly watched him too, memorizing his anatomy after I decided making him my model. I still couldn’t get over how long his limbs are whenever I draw him.

Crush? No. I don’t have a crush on him. He had a certain type of weird charm, though, just bordering on nerdy and cute. More to nerdy, what with those huge round glasses on him. Anyway, how could I possibly love again? Not after the incident 2 years ago…

My pencil hovered over the portrait I made of him, the Asian guy, on a Saturday. In this drawing, he was gazing out the window with a cup in hand. His thick lips were slightly parted, his fringe hanging in his eyes. The only things I have yet to master were his eyes, because they were too tiny for me to make out from where I was sitting. The actual person wasn’t in the cafe at that moment. This pose was from yesterday, and I didn’t have time to finish it because he left first. I looked up from my work, searching the cafe. He wasn’t here as well.

I decided to call it a day and head to a nearby bar with Yannis and the gang, even though she does not drink. Gathering up my supplies, I walked out the door onto the freezing wind. A few pieces of paper escaped my grasp, and as I was about to chase after them, he appeared and knelt down to pick them up. He approached me slowly with a small smile, hands stretched out with my papers. I took it from him, muttering a soft “thanks” while returning the smile. That was our first, genuine connection after weeks.

We continued our unspoken routine of watching each other in Lorenzo’s while acting like we were oblivious to it.

“... and that’s about it.” I finished, taking a swig from my mug of Budweiser. Yannis, my best friend, sat across from me with her legs crossed, listening to my story attentively while sipping on lemonade.

“That’s it? No extra tea to spill?”

I waved my hand. “I told you, there’s nothing special going on in my life. Just the usual.”

“But it’s still something different, isn’t it? I mean, we’re talking about a-” She took a deep breath, stopping mid-sentence. I knew what she was going to hint at, but I ignored it and drained my mug.

“I know what you mean, Yan, but you know me best as well. Nothing special will happen.”

“I know, but I just want you to… have fun in life, live it to the fullest, you know?” She took my hand in hers, giving me an encouraging smile. I laughed at her, signaling to the bartender for another pint. “Well, don’t I look like I’m enjoying life, here, with you right now? I’m happy,” I said firmly, because I was.

“Don’t tell me this when you’re half drunk, Sky. It may sound convincing, but you don’t look convincing enough.” Yannis scoffed at me, and we laughed at each other. Funny how alcohol affects your hormones, especially endorphins.

3 hours, 5 pints and 3 shots of whisky later, Yannis and I were staggering down an alley, singing “Uptown Funk” at the top of our lungs. People got out of our way, giving us judgemental looks, but most of them treated us as if we did not exist, which was fine by me.

We arrived at a fountain in the middle of a square, and tired out by our off-key karaoke session, we plopped down on the edge of the fountain, catching our breaths.

“Skyyyy,” Yannis drawled, “Are you drunk?”

“Uhm, I think- think I’m not. I mean, I can still-” I lurched forward, standing up abruptly and started walking with my hands out on both sides, “-walk properly. In a straight line. I think.”

A gust of cold winter wind blew, and I wrapped my coat tighter around myself. A flash of something crossed behind my eyes, and I could just imagine- __feel__  a pair of arms encircling me.

__“_ It’s cold out, why are you still here? You’ll catch a cold easily like this.” _I swore I could hear his voice, lost in the wind, a silent whisper that came back to haunt me. I turned back slowly, and of course, no one was there. It was just…

Yannis felt the change of mood. She quickly walked towards me and laid a hand on my shoulder. __“You okay?”__  Her eyes said. I gave a small nod and smiled in reassurance. Yannis did not question further. She knew from experience and pushing me even more would lead to terrible sobbing and incoherent words, so we let the ghosts rest, burying them further down in my heart, locked up in a memory cage that I could not trust myself to open it for a second time just yet.

That was why I drank. Not always on the border of drunkenness, but just to allow me a good night’s rest. Because without help, I wouldn’t have been able to sleep or get over the demons at night. After 2 years, I managed to go to bed without a drop of liquor, but the familiar heat and floaty feeling made me feel comfortable and at ease. So I still did it, at least once a week. I realized that I would not have nightmares on the nights where I have a bit of beer or wine.

Fatigue took over my body and I proceeded to squat at my spot. Yannis took this as a warning of me emptying my stomach, so she left after informing me that she would try to find some bottled water for me.

It was midnight already, and only a handful of people were out and about. Some couples, a stray dog barking at a tree, a tall, skinny man watching me from afar.

_“Brian.”_


	5. Jae- Making Friends

Skylar was watching me.

I wasn’t prepared to run into her this late at night, but Sungjin and I were catching a movie at my apartment and we ran out of snacks. Being the good host that I was, I dragged his butt out to shop together with me, teaching his simple phrases in Italian along the way.

We came to the square nearby my house, and there I saw her, squatting on the ground, eyes wide with surprise upon seeing me. I got flustered all of a sudden. Did she recognize me? True, she had only ever said “thanks” to me that one time, but I always thought she never noticed me.

Sungjin caught both of us staring at each other. “Who’s that lady there? Friend of yours?” He tilted his head to Skylar’s direction. I swallowed before choking out a “it’s her”, and had to repeat it several times before Sungjin caught what I was trying to say.

“Uh, you mean that girl you had an interest in?”

I shook my head and then nodded, not sure how to put it into words. “Skylar.”

Sungjin’s brows furrowed as he gave her a once-over. “She doesn’t seem okay.” He then looked at me with a “well? Whatchu gonna do?”

It was making me very self-conscious under her stare, but as Sungjin put it, she didn’t look well. I was torn between just leaving and pretending I did not see her, and going up to her and ask if everything was okay. Sungjin gave me a small nudge in the back. “Go on; she looks like she might pass out at any time.”

So I walked up to her with as much courage I could muster with Sungjin following closely behind, holding the snacks we had bought earlier. Skylar’s gaze never left my face, but as I neared her, a complexity of emotions appeared on her face. All at once, she looked happy, then hopeful; fear, and then sadness, then back to hopeful again.

Hmm. I knew I had a certain type of effect on ladies, but not to _that_ extend.

“Uh, hi,” I started when I was directly in front of her. “Are you, uh, okay? I mean,” I blinked nervously- _nervously!_ \- “-you don’t look… well.”

Skylar had a gaze that was warm and soft as she regarded me. I stood there uncomfortably with Sungjin who shifted from one leg to another repeatedly, obviously cold. She made no response, just stared and stared, like how she did during that time when I sang on the streets. Was she drunk?

“Hey!” A voice rang out through the square and I saw the same Muslim lady running towards us with a bottle in hand. “What are you doing with my friend?” She hauled Skylar to her feet and glared at us.

“We mean no harm. We just saw her squatting here and thought she was… in trouble or something.” I defended ourselves as the lady’s eyes cut through the both of us. Skylar patted her friend’s hand reassuringly and smiled weakly, gaze finding mine again. “I’m fine. Thank you for your concern.”

“Are you sure?” Her friend and I asked simultaneously. Skylar bit back a laugh. “Yeah, yeah I’m sure.” Turning to me, she asked: “You’re the one from Lorenzo’s, right?”

I was genuinely taken aback that she remembered me. “Uh yeah, my name’s Jae.” Skylar nodded her head, eyes downcasted. “Jae.”

Maybe it was just me, but she sounded disappointed.

“See you around.” Skylar mumbled, and her friend, after glaring at us one more time, led her down the road, handing the bottle of water to her. They disappeared at a corner, and Sungjin whistled low. “Who is that friend? Her eyes are… dreamy. But she’s, like, an angry person.”

“Angrier than you on early mornings? I don’t think so.” I replied offhandedly which won me free passes to his tickles, something which I was really not fond of.

***

“What?” I was so surprised that I spoke in English. Kaley understood English of course, so thank God for that or it would have been more awkward. “Qualcuno ha pagato per il tuo caffè oggi.” She repeated, handing me my usual espresso. “Paid already.” She translated in English.

I didn’t really need to ask who was it as I had an inkling of who it might be, but I still asked anyway. Kaley did her best trying to describe the customer who paid for my coffee, and it was no doubt Skylar. I picked up my coffee and went to my seat, staring unbelievably at the cup. Skylar bought me coffee.

The song I wrote that day was called “Coffee”.

***

The next time I saw her in Lorenzo’s, I went straight up to her without hesitant, though my nerves were jumping up and down.

“Hey Skylar.” I greeted her at her table and she looked up from her work, arms immediately crossing over her drawings, and all I could make out were portraits of people with a limb here; some hair there.

“Hi Jae.” Her voice sounded higher with a note of urgency. She started arranging her papers, covering her drawings with blank sheets and gestured for me to sit opposite of her. I slung my laptop bag over the chair and settled into it. “I just wanted to thank you for the cup of espresso.”

“Oh, that? It’s nothing. Take it as an apology for my friend yelling at you in public in the middle of the night. Yannis isn’t usually like that. She’s pretty nice, but just overprotective of me.”

“You didn’t have to.” I said grinning, and Skylar relaxed back into her seat, reaching for her cup. “It’s also a show of gratitude for trying to make sure I was okay despite you not knowing me.” She frowned. “Wait, how did you know my name? I said _nothing_ to Kaley.”

“About that…” I started the story where we met while I was busking and how Yannis revealed her name by calling out to her. Skylar looked very intrigued after I finished. “So you remembered my name until now…? You sure do have an amazing memory then.” She said teasingly.

“I mean- You have a special name and you did leave a rather strong impression on me.”

Her cheeks flamed and she cleared her throat. “I’m sorry for behaving like that. It’s the liquor, you know? I’m not usually drunk either.” She squeaked out, looking embarrassed. I laughed it off with a “no problem”.

It’s funny how we have progressed, chatting like we were friends. Were we? I didn’t know. And I was too chickened to ask.

“So you’re a musician? I’ve seen you playing the guitar on more than one occasion and you seem like you enjoy writing lyrics.” Skylar said. I nodded. “I won’t consider myself a full-fledged musician, though, as I’m still studying. My real aim is to return to South Korea and become a singer, but you know the market there. It’s really competitive.”

“Yeah. But I’m sure you’ll do just fine. You do have a nice voice.” Skylar commented. I think I might have blushed at that.

“And you? You’re an artist?” I said, inclining my head towards her stack of papers which she kept close in her embrace. She looked down at them with pride. “Yeah. It’s my favourite thing in the world, just drawing and painting random stuff.” Her eyes ran over me and back to her papers.

We spent the afternoon and evening getting to know each other, making friends. Skylar’s from Malaysia, and she’s Malaysian Chinese. She lived in France since she was 16 with her aunt; took foundation in arts during college and was now working as an artist in Milan. I told her my story too: how I grew up in the States, hardly knowing the Korean language, but I was still learning. We also shared some cultural history of our respective countries (I included USA in this as well since it was technically my home). It was nearing dinnertime after our chat and I invited her to dinner, but she refused as she had other plans, namely to finish up her portraits for a client.

“I’ll see you around, Jae. It was nice meeting you.” Skylar bid me goodbye with her usual “no bags no problem” situation. I waved at her and she was gone. I continued sitting there for a while, sipping on my espresso, content that I have the chance to get to know her. She was no doubt interesting, with a weird sense of humour. However, I felt that I’ve only scratched the surface of her being, and her coolness barely masked… something. The casual aura had a mysteriousness to it, and I wanted to find out what it was.

Anyway, it was still a big step for me. I’ve became friends; acquaintances with Skylar. She was no longer just a stranger who enjoyed Lorenzo’s coffee as much as I do.  


	6. Skylar- Getting There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been edited. Small changes ahead!

“ _Skylar._ ” My dreams turned into nightmares, and I always hear his voice, calling my name. “ _Skylar._ ” I see his face, those sharp, intelligent eyes. He runs around me in circles, laughing and reaching his hand out to me. “ _Won’t you come, Skylar?_ ”

I would. I would desperately reach out to him, crying out his name, but he is never within my reach. Our fingers would brush against each other, and then lose contact again. It became repetitive, but as long as I could, I tried. I never succeeded.

It was the same dream that appeared following my abrupt meeting with Jae, the guy from Lorenzo’s. I would wake up, frozen with horror from the occurring dream days after that. I willed myself not to cry every time it happens.

I had mistaken Jae for Brian, but thank God I did not call him that. However, this episode brought back bad memories which I did not want to remember. I did my best to bottle them up again, and this time it was easier. Time does heal I guess, but the pain wasn’t going away completely so soon.

I bought Jae his usual in Lorenzo’s once I was feeling better. I felt like I owed him something, and the only solution that came to mind was his espresso. He thanked me genuinely and we had a pretty lengthy conversation, which made me open up to him, more and more over time.

I am going to be truthful about this: Jae is a really nice guy and he looks like Chicken Little.

I realized that only after studying his facial features for further references for my art, and came to the conclusion that yes, he does indeed look like that cartoon character. I’ve seen people who look like bears, foxes, rabbits and even dogs, but chickens? This had to be my first time. Worst of all? I found him pretty attractive. His hairstyle changes, and so does its colour. Sometimes his bangs will be parted, sometimes it falls over his brows; it was black before, now it was a deep maroon-brown that only shows under the sunlight. He was always dressed in a very warm and boyfriend way, fluffy sweaters and sometimes spotting a scarf. His glasses remain perched on his nose, round and golden-rimmed. He was definitely taller than me, but I still come up to tip of his nose. His laugh was his main asset, exploding off with a high pitch “heh” and it repeats itself continuously for as long as his breath allows him to, and his small eyes thin further when he smiles or laughs, giving off a very innocent, child-like, and happy-go-lucky feeling.

And he still somehow reminded me of Brian, which was not a good sign.

What was worse was that we met under the very same circumstances as well, in a difference place, at a different time.

***

¬Paris, France, 2012¬

I was 17 at that time, still in high school. It was the beginning of summer, and I was out with some friends in the City of Love to enjoy the start of our summer holidays. I remembered drinking way too much beer on a dare, and got drunk halfway through the night. We had drinks, we had fun, we danced our asses off to some funky music that were famous back then. The few of us girls left the pub around midnight to “search for some hunks to flirt with” on the streets. Since it was a metropolitan area, there were still many people around, minding their own business in the city.

The light strumming of an acoustic guitar flooded my mind and wiped everything else off. Like a moth drawn to a flame, I followed the direction of the music and came to a clearing where a crowd had gathered.

I saw Brian for the first time in my life, and as cliché as it sounds, it was love at first sight.

I have to credit the haziness in my brain at that time as well, because under the colourful streetlights, he shone like an angel.

“It’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something dumb to do,” His voice was clear and strong, like a sharp scissors cutting through a paper; “Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you!” His smile was a radiant thing, brighter than the moon, brighter than the sun. His hair was slightly long and messy, but he had the aura of a star on stage. His nimble fingers danced across the strings, switching chords faster than my eyes could follow. I paid attention to his face- he was seriously hot, with droplets of sweat trickling down his temple.

By that time I had pushed my way into the crowd, standing at the edge, watching him spin around while singing “Marry You” by Bruno Mars. Plenty of girls were swooning over this Asian guy, and I scowled at them for no damn reason.

Brian held my gaze when I turned back to him. He started moving towards my way and I blushed profusely.

“Is it the look in your eyes or is it this dancing juice; Who cares baby, I think I wanna marry you!”

God, how much I wanted to take his hand and marry him right there and then. We were in our own little world, and the voices surrounding us were drowned out by the beating of my crazy heart. I silently said a prayer that I would do anything, if only this man became mine.

That night, we became a couple after sealing a kiss without even knowing each other’s names.

That, was the beginning of my unraveling, because I loved him so much.

***

March, 2018

We’ve became fast friends over the winter, meeting up in Lorenzo’s unannounced and spending time together either chatting or burying our heads into our work. Jae did disappear for a week because he brought his friend around Europe for a holiday- Park Sungjin. A friend who came all the way from South Korea. I told him once that I had a South Korean friend here as well, and his name is Kim Wonpil. He worked as a piano teacher in a music studio, and he's really good at it. “Maybe you would like to collaborate with him someday? He can sing pretty well too,” I once told Jae while he was writing a new song and he gave me a quirky smile. “We’ll see about that,” he answered, and told me all about Sungjin as his music partner and this other guy, Yoon Dowoon from his university who majors in drums, and how he had previously eyed him as well. “I don’t mind being in a band, so a pianist would be perfect.”

Yannis met Jae as well further on and hit it off after discovering their love of debate. They would have serious discussion over coffee with me as a middle person in case it gets too heated. I would chip in often than not, and we would always laugh at some ridiculous things Jae would spout.

“Has anyone told you how extra you can be?” I told him with a hard slap on his arm and he winced. “Did anyone tell you that you can be super extra as well?” He retorted. It was the confirmation I needed to convince me that this was a great friendship. I needed more positive people in my life as well, and Jae was a legit sun.

Spring was around the corner. Jae brought his guitar and asked me to help decide whether his newest song could be a hit or not. I flashed a quick smile and agreed. “What is it called?”

Jae tuned his guitar and took his time before answering “Spring’s Petals.” Fingers poised over the strings, he cleared his throat and plucked his guitar, setting a suitable pace for the song. I held my breath as the first note escaped the confines of his lips- him humming out the melody. It was beautiful to say the least, light and airy, just like the snowflakes that fell back in December. It would be even more mesmerizing had not the lyrics been about mocking himself for falling sick due to his pollen allergies. Something about how flowers were cruel and they did not accept his love, and was therefore punishing him with this. But it was still a lovely song nonetheless. Very ‘Jae’.

I tried paying more attention to the lyrics as he was singing, but I was actually memorizing him. It was the perfect pose any artist could ask for: a cute guy sitting comfortably and relaxed, doing the one thing he loves to do, not caring about a single thing in the world as his face told me that he was indeed absorbed into playing the guitar and singing the song. For a moment there, I don’t think that I even existed even though he asked me for that favour: he was simply just playing a song.

 _I_ have _to draw this when I get back_ , I vowed, keeping my eyes and ears opened even though it was a song that made you want to lie back and close your eyes.

The song ended with a high note that I don’t think even I can reach and it sent goosebumps down my arm. “How was it?” Jae grinned, leaning forward to wait for my verdict. As a show of my approval, I shivered visibly and rubbed my arms. “Goosebumps.” Was all I said and Jae released a breath through his nose. “That good?”

“That good. You’re really cut out to be a singer, man. All that talent will be wasted if you don’t.”

“Yeah, but I can’t dance. Not really well, I mean.”

I stared open-mouthed at him. “You gotta show it to me someday!” I said with glee and he mumbled something sheepishly, trying to weasel his way out of it. “Okay, just how bad are you?” I continued.

“Bad enough for me to become a joke in my university. But really, I don’t think it’s __that__  bad. People were probably just exaggerating.”

“Then you really must show me. How about I try asking Lorenzo to set up a small stage right here, and whenever you come by, you can show off your dance moves? Kaley wouldn’t mind,” I covered my mouth with my hand and whisper-shouted it towards Jae, eyes darting to the pretty bartender who always flick her gaze towards Jae. I was pretty sure she was rather romantically interested in him. “- and who knows? Maybe your dancing is so… wonderful that it may attract more customers. It would help Lorenzo’s business.” I finished, giggling with the prospect of the idea. Jae looked at me with amusement.

“Uh, no thanks, but I would gladly do it if I sing instead of dance. That would be a greater hit than me dancing around with the skills of a chicken.”

I burst out laughing and wiped a stray tear from the corner of my eye. “That was a good one! A chicken… Has anyone told you-”

“-that I look like Chicken Little? Yes, Skylar. And no, please don’t call me that.”

“That stays. Chicken Little.” I left no room for negotiation and Jae threw his hands up in the air while rolling his eyes.

“Speaking of which,” Jae’s tone shifted into something more serious, “my graduation is just a few weeks away. Remember Dowoon? He is having an after-party for us graduates and those we want to bring. There would be food, games, oh! Even a pool. He’s setting up a stage, hiring a DJ to make some music. There will be lights and fireworks and everything you can imagine. You wanna join?”

“Will you be playing?” I asked, and Jae gave me a confused look. “I mean, will you be playing and singing on stage? With your guitar?”

Jae cracked a smile. “Watching me here ain’t enough for you? You want to see me on a stage?”

My ears felt hot as I broke eye contact with him. “I mean, you should at least have a decent sized audience to try out your future before truly becoming a star, don’t you think? Plus, listening to you here is really nice, but it will be different on stage. More… grandeur. Flashy.”

“Hmm. I’ll try to ask Dowoon. He’s a pretty cool guy. Maybe your dream will come true, but are you going?”

“Maybe,” I said, but in fact I could because I had time on my hands, and I was getting pretty interested in the party if Jae was really playing. 

“Cool. I’ll text you the details later? I’m not even sure myself to be honest,” He smirked, earning a scoff from me. “Sure sure, take your time knowing the when and where. I’ll be waiting,” I waved my pencil, and he clutched his heart above his chest. “Waiting for me? Aw how sweet.” and I made a show of whacking him over the head.

Winter had gone, and spring was arriving. Some sort of warm feeling stirred in my chest, and I truly believed that it was going to be a good year.


	7. Jae- Planning Plans

“I can’t believe you really asked her out,” Sungjin said, lounging on my couch. This fellow refused to return to South Korea after falling in love with Europe and decided to stay until after my graduation, and only then he and Dowoon will go back. I will leave for South Korea after stopping by in the States first to spend more time with my parents. Dowoon sat on the arm rest of the couch, drumsticks tapping out a distorted rhythm on his thighs.

“It’s not a date,” I whined, sinking next to Sungjin.

“It’s all a matter of perspective and what you wanna believe this is called,” He continued, tossing a pillow each to both Dowoon and me. Dowoon dropped his drum sticks to catch it and was caught off balance.

“Well, I wouldn’t say it’s a date since there will be hundreds of people there,” The youngest member spoke his thoughts, voice deep, and I clapped my hands together. “There! See? Even he agrees that it isn’t a date.”

“Whatever. You still asked her to spend time with you, so I take it as progress.”

“Please. I’m not trying to hit on her. She’s just a friend,” I switched on the television. I patted my left side and Dowoon went to sit down next to me. Sungjin said nothing, but he nodded his head, unconvinced. We played some video games before I remembered Skylar’s request.

“Hey, bro, Skylar wants to see me performing on stage. Do you think it’s possible…?” I told Dowoon during one race in Mario Kart.

“Of course, hyung. Haven’t I been asking you before this to perform as well? You pushed down the offer as I remembered clearly.” Dowoon replied slowly, attention fixed on trying to outrace me.

“He just didn’t have a reason to, back then.” Sungjin cut in with a sly note and I whacked him on his arm.

“Ah, I’m just nervous about performing on stage!” This will not be the first time, of course, but it will be the first time with so many people I know. And most of them still teased me about my dancing skills, which obviously did not help with my confidence.

“Why not this way: we can perform as a band, just like you said you wanted to.” Dowoon mumbled it out jokingly while munching on some chips and a light bulb went off in my head.

“THAT’S IT!” I yelled it, making both of them jump. I rambled off my grand plan to the both of them, and we forgot about the game. I’ve always wanted to be a solo artist, but somehow I thought that we could make it bigger as a band. Sungjin can play the cajon and the guitar and has an incredibly amazing husky voice that dips low and reaches high. Dowoon and his drumming skills are found nowhere else, and his voice is a deep bass, which can provide the support vocals and make the songs more prominent and stronger.

Well, to be fair, we all basically know how to play the basic instruments such as guitar, piano, drums, bass. We can be a band on our own. I was so, so excited for this.

Dowoon was fine with it, but it took some persuasion to get Sungjin to agree. He was always a tad bit shy about having to perform on stage, but music is his greatest passion as well. And so we decided to do this as a team; as a band.

“But what song are we gonna sing?” Dowoon asked as we were planning everything out from the lights to the stage directions. Sungjin and I stopped halfway in our discussion and stared at him dumbfounded. “I mean, ain’t this a bit too rushed if we haven’t gotten our song choice?” Dowoon shrunk under our gazes.

We did not sleep much that night, searching for the perfect song that showcases our talent. We were really hyped for this, as we considered this as our debut stage. “What should we call ourselves?” I asked, and all of us couldn’t come up with a decent enough name that fits, so we just left our band name blank. The song choice? You’ll know it when we sing it during the party. For now, it’s a secret.

I brought Sungjin and Dowoon to Lorenzo’s the next day to fix us up with some coffee. Skylar was there as well, as per usual, but today she was typing on her laptop instead of drawing something. I introduced her to Dowoon, as she had already known Sungjin before. She accepted our invitation.

“So… are you playing?” She asked immediately. The three of us exchanged glances and we gave her a secret smile.

“Maybe. I don’t know. The DJ is a pretty fussy person.” I lied, and Dowoon nodded his head rigorously, but Skylar wasn’t convinced. For some reason, I wanted this to be a surprise.

Skylar took a liking to Dowoon as he was younger than her by a few months, and she thought him very cute. I might have gotten a bit jealous by the way she would occasionally smile at him a little longer than the rest of us.

Sungjin felt it of course, and he kept giving me sideways glances with a slight panic in his eyes, but I could keep my cool. It was moments like this that made me question whether I do like her romantically if I was being possessive.

Preparations were big. We had to meet up frequently in Dowoon’s basement to practice (his family has a huge mansion in Italy specifically to host Dowoon as he was studying there and the party was going to be held there as well), and we had less than 2 weeks left to the party. Thank God that our finals were already over, so we could concentrate on perfecting our song. Dowoon had bigger problems as he was the host. He had to make sure everything was in place, reservations made, hired people to help make this party a success. His parents are filthy rich, but he doesn’t flaunt his wealth and he is a very humble guy. But he still wanted to throw this party since he was leaving Milan anyway.

Our graduation came and of course, my parents attended it. We took tons of photos with our university mates and family and speeches were made. Once the ceremony was officially over, I greeted my friends at the university compound. Imagine my astonishment when I saw Skylar and Yannis there with Sungjin as well, holding a bouquet of… was that paper flowers?

“Hey,” Both of them greeted me, and Skylar passed me the bouquet. “Congratulations on graduating! You’re allergic, right? So we made this one for you.” She said with a smile. The flowers were intricate and even smelled nice. It must have taken a lot of time to make such a big bouquet. "I do not know what to say... thanks." I looked back towards her.

Skylar looked good. Dressed in a pale pink plaid skirt and white top with black platform heels, her hair falling freely in layers over her shoulder and a braid over the top of her head like a crown, she was beautiful. She caught me staring and looked down at herself in embarrassment and dipped her head lower. Her star earrings shone under the sunlight. “Yeah well, it’s a big occasion, a graduation. Can’t come here in my usual clothes now, can I?”

I would’ve told her that she looked lovely in her faded casual clothes as well if I didn’t sneeze at that exact moment.

“Oof, must be hard having flowers everywhere.” Yannis said, fanning the air around us and we laughed. I introduced them to my parents and Sungjin joined in the crowd with us. We went to a more secluded place as my allergy was really acting up and I had red splotches on my skin. My parents asked a lot of questions, wanting to know how I met “two such fine young ladies as both of you”. We even grabbed lunch together, where we accidentally met up with Dowoon and his parents. He told me that the party will begin at sundown, but we ought to be there earlier for the soundcheck.

“Sure. Catch you later.” I said. “Congratulations on graduating, Dowoon.”

“Thanks hyung. Congratulations to you too.” He grinned and waved towards Skylar and the gang. Then he left with his parents for their next agenda.

“Well boys and girls, I’m sure you have other plans today, so Jae’s dad and I will be leaving. Call us when you’re coming back, okay?” Mom caressed my cheek gently and winked at me. “Sure mom. See you later.” I told her, hugging both dad and her. We said our goodbyes and left for separate ways. Yannis looked at her watch and cursed. “Hey look, I’ve got a deadline coming up so I needa run back to the office to get it done.”

“You going to come to the party tonight?” I asked her and a wicked grin appeared on Yannis’ face as Skylar rolled her eyes. “It ain’t a party-”

“-till Yannis the Menace is there.” Skylar finished for her and Yannis pouted. “Yeah, she definitely is going… that is, if she can finish her work by then!” Skylar said pointedly and Yannis’ phone buzzed. “Okay, gotta run! Bye!” And took off in a flash. Skylar looked back to us apologetically and said “Well, I too have to get back to my art studio to meet up with a client. I guess I’ll see you tonight?”

“Yeah. Sure. Uh, thanks again, for coming to my graduation.” I stumbled over my words. Skylar laughed her signature laugh: open-mouthed, showing her white teeth. Her canine teeth stick out further than the rest, making her look slightly like a vampire.

“Okay. See you later too, Sungjin.” Sungjin waved as she turned on her heel and skipped down the street. I watched her go, a silly smile etched on my face and Sungjin clicked his tongue. “Are you still going to deny the fact that you have a crush on her?”

My head snapped towards him so hard I nearly broke my neck. “I-” I started to say, but I lost my line of thoughts and ended up blubbering some nonsensical shit. Sungjin looked at me like how an owner looks at a confused and playful little pup. Then he hooked his arm over me and pulled me down, earning a grunt and a few shoves from me.

“Come on, we’re going to be late to the show! It’s, like, your only ticket to let yourself shine so bright that Skylar won’t be able to look away.” He joked, but my heart did a flop.

A chance to really impress Skylar? I better take this performance seriously. But what I did not expect was a hidden plan on Sungjin's and Dowoon's end: a makeover.


	8. Skylar- A Friend's Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonpil visits Skylar and they think of the old days.

Wonpil stood at the door of my art studio as I was escorting my client out after he had bought the portrait I did for his wife. He greeted the man with a polite nod as he exited and I flashed him a smile.

“Wonpil, hi! What in the world are you doing here?”

Wonpil put his hands inside his pockets. “Hey Sky. Just checking in with you since I have the time. Whoa, you’re dressed really nicely.” He added, eyeing me up and down. I leaned against the edge of my desk and folded my arms across my chest. “I just got back from a friend’s graduation ceremony. Well, be at home. But I’ve got the after-party to go to later, so don’t stay too long.” I said jokingly.

He gave me a small pout as his eyes roamed around my art studio. He hadn’t been here in ages, but of course nothing had changed. It wasn’t much, just a dingy little room on the second floor above a bookstore, and the floorboards creaked sometimes underfoot. I rented it from the old storekeeper below who used this as a storeroom before.

“ ' _Astrazione_ ’… this old girl has seen some brighter days.” Wonpil turned towards me with an innocent smile on his face. I got what he meant straight away, but kept quiet in my corner. I used to be quite well-known in Milan for drawing some of the best, most life-like portraits a few years ago when I had just graduated. People would come from far, paying me to do paintings of their loved ones: a child, a wife, a grandfather, a dog… I worked to the bone to make it as perfect as it could be, and ‘ _Astrazione_ ’ was always filled with my clients. However, the last one I made that was ‘perfect’ was two years ago.

The day Brian died.

My smile drooped and Wonpil, realizing how his comment gave bad vibes, walked over to me, resting his hands on my shoulders. “Skylar, oh god, I didn’t mean it that way- it’s just, there used to be so many people here before Brian…” He trailed off. Wonpil was his best friend, his brother of another mother, his partner-in-crime. Apart from Brian’s own family members, he was the closest to him, even more so than me.

“Yeah, I get you. It’s true that I can’t really draw as well as I did back then. Hah. Serves me right, right? How stupid of me to lose my golden touch.” I shrugged, brushing the matter off. The last thing I needed was someone to remind me how broken I was after he died. But again, after weeks and weeks of training myself to not burst into tears at the first mention of Brian, I became immune to his name.

Wonpil sniffled, and we gave each other a hug. Wonpil still suffered from the passing of his best friend. I, on the other hand, tried to move on as fast as I could.

Because if I don’t, each day will break me over and over again.

“Okay, I did not come here to cry over you again like the last time,” Wonpil rubbed his doe eyes, mustering a cute, baby smile. I pinched his cheeks until he protested and pinched me back. “What are you up to nowadays?”

“Nothing much really, just the old clients coming back for new members of their families. I’m still earning well though, so you don’t really need to worry much.”

Wonpil shuffled through my recent sketches and stopped at a particular one. “Who’s this? A new client?”

Jae smirked back from the first page in Wonpil’s hand. As he continued looking through them, several Jaes in different positions appeared and disappeared just as fast. I did not answer, surprised even by myself of just how many drawings I’ve done of him. To be fair, I never had too much work, so I tried to improve myself by drawing random people I’ve seen lately.

“He’s Jae.” I tried to keep my voice even as Wonpil’s eyebrows went higher and higher up into his forehead. “He’s a new friend I met at Lorenzo’s. He just happened to sit right across from me every time I’m there so I decided to make him my model.”

“He looks very tall.” Wonpil assessed the drawings, his pouting habit coming back up. “And he looks very nerdy with those glasses… same like yours.” I grunted and made a face at him. “Nerdy? Please. I am the embodiment of beauty.”

“Yeah right. I’m much more beautiful than you.” Wonpil said while striking a ridiculous pose that cracked me up. I mimicked his actions and pulled on my best imitation of Rose from Titanic. “ 'Jack, draw me like one of your French girls!’ ” We ended up laughing so hard our sides hurt.

“Why haven’t you got contact lenses? You look much better without those heavy glasses.” Wonpil continued.

“I do have some, but I’ve never had the reason to wear them. Plus, they get dry easily and I like to rub my eyes.”

“What about tonight? You’re going to a party, yes? Ain’t it the best time to bust out those big, beautiful eyes?”

“...I’ll think about it.” I replied, and Wonpil shifted his attention back to my drawings of Jae. A moment passed and he commented quietly “I feel like I’ve seen these types of drawings before.”

He meant Brian, sitting in a chair, smiling so widely for me to draw that the muscles in his cheeks started twitching from the effort. Hundreds of pages filled with his outline, his fox-eyes staring out warmly at the beholder.

“ _You draw me too handsome and life-like,_ ” Brian told me one day, peeking from behind my shoulder to look at my latest drawing of him, hugging me from behind.

“ _What do you mean? You look exactly like this,_ ” I said in confusion.

“ _No, I don’t. What if one day you don’t love me anymore and choose this fellow over me?_ ” He whined like a child, pointing at the drawing. I laughed and laughed till I cried. “ _You’re actually jealous of yourself? Of your own picture?_ ”

“ _You won’t choose anything else over me, right?_ ” He teased, poking me in the side and I giggled. “ _Maybe, I can’t say for sure._ ” I replied, and he frowned some more.

“ _Not fair, when I chose to spend time here with you than with Wonpil._ ” Brian confessed and I immediately turned around and kissed him. “ _I_ _won’t. I won’t choose anything else over you._ ” I said firmly. It was a promise I made to him.

It was a promise I wanted to keep for the rest of my life. A promise that, if I had walked down the aisle towards him in my wedding dress, I would be by his side forever. A promise that can never be truly fulfilled in its entire meaning at the time I spoke it.

A promise that was beginning to lose its significance.

“Sky?” Wonpil asked, his face covered with worry. The drawings of Jae were still in his hands, and I stared at them hard enough to make a hole through the pages. Wonpil gently placed them back to their original location. “Are you both close?”

“Who? Jae and I? Uh, I think so…?” I said uncertainly. “But, like, we’re friends. Close friends. We share some common interests, like our taste in music, the movies we watch…” I wrung my hands together, realizing how suggestive it sounded. Wonpil gave me a bittersweet smile.

“No need to sound so nervous, Sky. It’s okay to just… be true to yourself, if you understand what I mean.”

I got it. He was indicating that it was okay for me to love again. But I don’t know whether I was ready to give my heart out to someone else for a second time, knowing well that it could be an unhappy ending, just like it was the first time.

I gave Wonpil a nod. He came over and gave me a tentative hug, like he was afraid to break me. I wrapped my arms around him too and just closed my eyes. I can’t keep living in the past, and everyone else around me wants me to be happy. I tried being happy for both our sake, because Brian wouldn’t want me to blame myself for his death and live forever in misery and loneliness.

“Thanks, Wonpil. Also, how interested are you in making music with someone else?”

**Author's Note:**

> Yo! This is my first time writing a fanfic, so do bear with all my weird antics, wrong grammar, and do inform me if I'm doing anything wrong (politely please)! Day6 is an awesome band, and its members are even better. So here's a little something I came up with. Hope you enjoyed it :)


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